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How to Be a Terrible Project Maintainer

Hey, you! Yeah, you. Are you a software engineer? Do you have ownership over a particular repository at your company? Do you want to ensure that working with your repo is a constant source of frustration for your fellow developers? Great! Then read on for these tips on how to be a terrible project maintainer.

Don't Write Good Documentation

Especially on how to do local development or how to contribute to the repo. You want to keep people guessing. Running your project locally should be a puzzle that only the greatest minds can solve. If you want to be even more cryptic, consider including outdated or incorrect instructions that reference non-existent scripts meant to run the app.

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I Wish I Never Learned To Code

I write code for a living. You might say I'm a professional software engineer, but really software engineering is much more than just a profession—it's a lifestyle. The hoodies, the ping pong, the endless snacks and soda... it’s all true. And yet, as rewarding as this field can be, I have a confession to make: Sometimes I wish I never learned to code.

Quirks

Ever since I started learning to code, browsing the web has never been the same. No longer can I simply accept the errors I encounter on other sites as I use them. Whenever something strange happens, curiosity gets the best of me, and I have to open up the browser's developer tools and start debugging.

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Programmers Are Fu@%ing Lazy

While these developers may look dead, I assure you they're just resting. Because of course they are.

With the possible exception of philosophers, programmers are the laziest bunch of people I know. It seems like everyone else I speak to has some sort of labor intensive profession.

Think about it, biologists do all those experiments … giving a drug to hundreds of mice is can’t be automated. Doctors have to physically inspect their patients, professors have to give the same lectures year after year, architects draw their plans in all perspectives manually and until recently did hatching by hand.

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5 Pro Tips for Dealing With Burnout on the Job

If you just don't want to, read on.
Photo credit by Unsplash/Arthur Savary

According to the Mayo Clinic, job burnout is "a state of physical or emotional exhaustion that also involves a sense of reduced accomplishment and loss of personal identity."

The reasons for this unfortunately common condition are varied, though it generally arises out of the inevitable despair that accompanies a spectacularly terrible career choice.

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How to Deal With Developers Who Appear to Be Relaxing (Part 2)

Back in December, we published a piece that clearly hit a nerve with many of you. Entitled "How to Deal With Developers Who Appear to Be Relaxing," this article is a thoughtful defense of those developers out there whose bosses clearly have no idea what it is they do all day. And based upon y'all's reaction to it, this seems to be a fairly common phenomenon. 

But while the article also presents some useful strategies for managers who could use some help dealing with their engineers, I have a simpler and guaranteed effective piece of advice: 

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Area Man Very Concerned ‘Black Mirror’ Is Real

Kansas City, MO – Perusing his Facebook feed early Wednesday as he got ready to leave for work, area man Steven Cummings, 34, reportedly came across a video that shook him to his core. In it, shown above, 10 robotic dogs can be seen dragging a semi truck to what Cummings apparently believed was its imminent demise.

“Didn’t these same robots do this exact thing to some poor woman on the show Black Mirror?” said Cummings, a look of confused horror replacing his generally stoic demeaner. “I’m pretty sure it’s just a popular series on Netflix, but then I see things like this, and I just don’t know anymore.”

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Blockchain in Dire Need of Daily Affirmation Following 51 Percent Attack

Back in January, hackers pulled off the once unthinkable: They gained control of more than 50 percent of Ethereum Classic’s blockchain network, proving that with enough computing power, blockchain can (and decidedly will) get hacked.

Sadly, Blockchain has been struggling with this realization ever since. He was supposed to be invincible, after all. The next big thing in finance, the Internet, contracts, cloud storage, social networking, encrypted messaging, proof of ownership, voting, real estate, and even food safety.  

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6 Pro Tips for Getting Your Boss to Let You Work From Home

Isn't working from home the best? You can get so much done in the comfort of your own surroundings, not to mention without all the distractions that typically come with your run-of-the-mill office. 

But if you have a boss who doesn't likewise see the merits of this perfect working scenario (which a lot of us unfortunately do), here are some things you can do to (hopefully) change his mind.

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Forget Waking Up Early, Night Owls Have Better Super Powers

Waking up early is killing your productivity, creativity and social life. And for what? Developers don’t reach peak productivity until 2pm. No wonder this post on waking up early was so controversial. Circadian neurologist Russel Foster says there’s no evidence that waking up early increases your wealth, it just makes you “horribly smug.” His words, […]
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Comics of the Week #403

Every week we feature a set of comics created exclusively for WDD.

The content revolves around web design, blogging and funny situations that we encounter in our daily lives as designers.

These great cartoons are created by Jerry King, an award-winning cartoonist who’s one of the most published, prolific and versatile cartoonists in the world today.

So for a few moments, take a break from your daily routine, have a laugh and enjoy these funny cartoons.

Feel free to leave your comments and suggestions below as well as any related stories of your own…

Sure, blame the designer

No rest for the married

 

Olympic style feedback

Can you relate to these situations? Please share your funny stories and comments below…

LAST DAY: Zelda – A Beautiful and Classy Script Font – only $7!

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