Looking for some scary tales to tell around the campfire (or perhaps a circle of blinking routers) this Halloween? We've got you covered. Here are three real horror stories from the world of tech and science that will make you wish humanity had never left the stone age.
Ever had a wild night, only to realize the next day that you lost something really important? The U.S. Air Force can relate. Since the end of World War II, at least three nuclear weapons have been lost by the United States and have never been recovered. Two of them were on board a B-47 bomber that disappeared without a trace over the Mediterranean Sea in 1956. Another might be much closer to homea proud 7,600-pounder that vanished near Savannah, Georgia, in the 1958 Tybee Island accident. And yes, these bombs could still be functional.
Thats just the tip of the iceberg. At its peak, the Soviet Union stockpiled approximately 45,000 nuclear weapons. Since then, the Russians have lost track of at least 100 suitcase-sized bombs (how handy!) as well as several nuclear submarines. At least you dont have to worry about them if you dont live near the coast
But even when not lost, the worlds most annihilating weapons aren't always treated carefully and the list of accidents involving nuclear bombs that almost caused devastating harm is equally terrifying. In total, 32 broken arrow incidents (= accidents involving nuclear weapons) have been recorded by the U.S. military since the 1950s. For example, in North Carolina, two 3.8 megaton H-bombs dropped after a plane crash in 1961. One bomb's parachute deployed, the other hit the ground unchecked near Goldsboro. Only a single safety switch prevented its detonation. Oh, and then there was that time in 1983 when a malfunctioning Soviet satellite indicated an all-out nuclear attack launched by the U.S., and an automatic counterattack was only prevented by the officer on duty, who decided the warning must be a false alarm. Good call, comrade?
As for the lost bombs? We can only wonder where they are and if they will ever resurface. Whether slumbering in the depths of the oceans, frozen in eternal ice, or sitting in the back of the van of some guy whos been shopping on the dark webthey could surprise us anytime. Consider stocking up on some Potassium Iodide pills for those trick-or-treaters!
Ever had someone spike your drink at a party? The CIA can relateexcept they were the ones doing the spiking. Between 1953 and 1973, they ran a program called MKUltra, turning thousands of unwitting Americans into guinea pigs for psychedelic experiments. Think your government would never secretly dose you with LSD? Think again!
The CIA wasnt just experimenting in hidden underground labs (though they had those too). They were running "experiments" in hospitals, universities, and even brothels across the U.S. and Canada. In one particularly wild operation, they hired prostitutes to lure men to CIA-run "safe houses" where they were dosed with LSD while agents watched through one-way mirrors, sipping martinis and taking notes. The operation was, unironically, called "Midnight Climax" (yes, really). Talk about a bad trip!
The program didnt stop at LSD either. They experimented with everything from sleep deprivation to psychological torture. At Montreal's Allan Memorial Institute, Dr. Ewen Cameron (funded by the CIA) tried to "de-pattern" his patients minds using electroshocks, drug-induced comas, and endless loops of recorded messages. Many of his victimswho had checked in for minor issues like anxiety or postpartum depressionsuffered permanent damage. Then there is the story of Frank Olson, a U.S. Army biochemist who worked for the CIA. In 1953, his colleagues secretly slipped LSD into his drink during a work retreat. Nine days later, he plunged to his death after jumping through the closed window of a New York hotelthrough drawn shade and curtains. Suicide? Accident? Murder? We might never know. The CIA Director Richard Helms ordered most MKUltra files shredded in 1973. Only a fraction of the files survived and were declassified in 2001.
How many people were unknowingly dosed, shocked, or manipulated? Well never know for sure, thanks to that convenient document-shredding. But here's a spine-chilling thought: these are just the experiments we know about. Sure, the CIA wouldn't legally be allowed to conduct such operations today, but maybe grab a drink tester while you're stocking up on those Potassium Iodide pills!
The scariest story I saved for the end. Kids these days, with their AirPods and Spotify, will never understand the true technological terror that was... the Microsoft Zune. Gather 'round, children, as I tell you about one of the darkest chapters in consumer tech historya tale so frightening, it makes the Meta Quest look like a fairy tale.
The year was 2006. Apples iPod was dominating the music player market when Microsoft decided to enter the ring with what looked like a brown brick that had been cursed by an ancient deity. Yes, you read that righttheir flagship color choice was brown. Not sleek white, not glossy black, but brown. Like your grandfathers 1970s kitchen appliances or, worse, the uniforms of the guys he fought against 30 years earlier. But the horror doesnt end with the aesthetics. The Zune came with its own proprietary software that made iTunes look awesome (and thats saying something). Imagine trying to sync your music, but instead of it just working, your device enters a state where your precious music collection becomes trapped in a format that only works with... you guessed it, the Zune.
Then there was the incredibly creative social feature called Zune Social, which let you "squirt" songs to other Zune users nearby. Yes, you read that right, they actually used the word "squirt" in their marketing. The catch? The received songs would self-destruct after three plays or three days, whichever came first. It was like Snapchat for music, except nobody wanted it, and nobody was around to receive your "squirts" because NOBODY ELSE HAD A ZUNE!
The horror story reached its climax on December 31, 2008, when every single Zune 30GB model in existence simultaneously crashed due to a leap year bug. Imagine thousands of people waking up on New Year's Eve to find their precious brown bricks had turned into actual bricks.
The Zune lived (or rather, stumbled around like a zombie) until 2011, when Microsoft finally put it out of its misery. Total sales? About 2 million Zunes compared to the iPods 300 million. Thats not a market sharethats a rounding error.
But perhaps the scariest part of this story is that somewhere out there, in forgotten drawers and dusty attics, thousands of Zunes still exist, waiting... Their brown cases slowly fading, their batteries quietly leaking, their proprietary software forever haunting the digital graveyard of tech history. Legend has it that on quiet nights, you can still hear the faint echo of a marketing executive whispering, "squirt me some Jonas Brothers..."
So, next time you complain about having to charge your AirPods, remember the brave souls who endured the Zune era. And if you ever find one at a garage sale, run. Run far, run fast. Some tech is better left in the past!
P.S.: If you think this was bad, wait until you hear about Windows Vista...